Wednesday, April 30, 2008

and now back to the present

I just signed up for a mailing list that will be activated in 2010 when London begins searching for volunteers for the 2012 Olympics.

That would be fun.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

four hours of no progress

i just counted it up, and i have 10 days of class left. and i don't know what to do to get my work done because i feel like i've failed everything already.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Friday, April 18, 2008

Why are there such things as wakes?

A second ago I was sitting here, at this desk, formulating the next sentence in the French essay, when an image on the television screen took me back to the afternoon of January 30th. I lived over again the memory of sitting against their kitchen wall, near a table of pastries, and furtively glancing over to look at Mrs. Davis. My mind could not and still cannot fathom what she was feeling and how she could feel it and yet carry that somber, withdrawn face. It wasn't uncaring. It was ill with grief. How can someone invite so many people into their home to socialize when that person's son died three days prior? I don't understand it. And I guess that might be partially why I just could not look her in the face. I had to avoid her. All I wanted to do that day was weep, and the last thing I wanted in the entire world was to cry in front of her when she was trying so hard to make it through that day. It was wretched, all of it.

I still have the program from his funeral. I keep it in the red bag with all of the wedding papers, because it happened when I was doing a lot of wedding things. I wish so desperately that I could take someone who didn't know him back into my memories with me, show them what I saw, and share it so that it won't hurt me so much.

Monday, April 14, 2008

All the Apologies in the world wouldn't make this ok

The dc Talk version replaces the lyric "Everyone is gay" with "Jesus is the way"...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

typical

So as I was reading more from the book in which I found the quotation below, John (who is on the phone) alerted me to direct my attention to the TV. When I looked at it (and it was on mute) all I saw that "Secret Lives of Women" was playing, and several women were in a living room talking. So I glance back and forth from the TV to John with a questioning look on my face: what's so important? John made motions instructing me to keep watching. One of the women the women went to a supermarket, and they showed her buying syrup. Then they showed her buying pudding snack packs. I thought, "oh, they're talking about pudding, and John loves pudding so that's why he's excited." So I turned to John triumphantly, convinced I had found the answer. Then John, who is still on the phone, begins to make motions like a woman pouring something on herself and rubbing her body with it while sticking out his tongue. It was then I began to think "oh no.." and as I turn back to the TV I see the topic of the episode. My fears were confirmed. I made the face of the Grecian tragedy mask as I read: Sploshing

ilikethis

nam gawa the wei woe lu yoe; phung dang si yang they nang yoe

fun and pleasure are located below the navel; dispute and trouble are also found there

(It's from the Dzongkha language, which is spoken in Bhutan.)

Monday, March 31, 2008

fingers crossed

I moved a lot of academic things around today and met with a bunch of professors and I think I will survive. And graduate, maybe. And (perhaps) make up these late assignments.

In other news, I found a tattoo artist I like!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Threat Level: Midnight

Just a couple of quick things before bed...

John is watching some Office dvds and I'm surprised by how much I've missed this show. Hopefully, when it comes back, it will come back as strong as the second season was, and not as heavy on the Jim/Pam awkwardness. I feel like less = more in that area. Also, Jan needs some dignity back, dammit.

Earlier today the woman printing the wedding invitations sent John and I some proofs. I'm excited about it in the way that I want to email it to everyone I know to show them. Seeing it and our names makes me very heureuse.

Il faut que je dors maintenant. If I want to get at least five hours of sleep, that is.

[EDIT]: I wanted to mention this last night but didn't really have the time. Some of you out there may not be following all the political stuff and if that's the case you will probably be just as flabbergasted as I have been seeing this video of HRC lying about a trip to Bosnia and then getting called on it.
And it's even more dumbfounding when she tries to poorly brush it off: "so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement".

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Keith Olbermann

Watching this, just now, was one of the more moving and thoughtful things I have seen in journalism in a while.

I'm just really impressed with his sincerity.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Right Now

Right now John's in bed and he just started snoring. Right now I'm working very slowly on a paper. Right now I'm fighting the increasing weight of my head and the urge to rest it on the desk. Right now I can't see the end of the tunnel. Right now I'm frighteningly apathetic and scared shitless.

Friday, March 7, 2008

this post is boring but i'm gonna post it anyway

Last night I received a deliverance of an email in which my French professor canceled class and postponed the due date of our paper. So because my weekend had unexpectedly started early, I decided to try something that I'd been waiting to try for a while. I tried to make the unicorn from Blade Runner.

All I've been making lately have been paper cranes and flapping birds, so I was excited to find a website with step-by-step photos of the unicorn's construction. However, I realized after a while that this one would require more than one sheet of paper, and for some reason I find origami that requires more than one square kinda lame. In the end, I have the front half of a unicorn and maybe someday I'll make the little guy a rear.

Priya - thank you so much for the finger video; I found it to be very inspiring in a way. And don't worry about being too dark - I like dark.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

kind of like this post?

I voted. It felt really anti-climatic.

At least I can caucus later, right? Me like.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

but nothing can beat this song in french

I just found the best translation of "Ne me quitte pas" I have ever come across. Not perfect, but close. And this is big, for me, because I still have not really found any other song, movie, or story as beautifully desperate as this song is.

Don't go away
If you can't forgive
Believe, just to live
You must forget
Forget the times
You misunderstand
Let them slip through your hand
With the sand of time
Forget those hours
When 'perhaps' has died
At the hands of 'why'
And our lack of faith
Don't go away
Don't go away
Don't leave

Me, I'll offer you pearls
Made out of the rain
That falls in a world
Where rain never falls
I'll ransack the earth
By day and by night
To cover your body
With gold and with light
I'll make a domain
Where love will be king
Love will be everything
You'll be the queen
Don't go away
Dont' go away
Don't leave

Don't go away
I'll invent for you
Words just meant for you
And you'll know what's meant
And I'll tell you the truth
About how other lovers
Looked into each other
And how they were moved
Then I'll read to you
The story of kings
Who lived without meeting you
Died without knowing you
Don't go away
Dont' go away
Don't leave

And just when you think
The volcano's expired
The craters turn pink
And the ash turns to fire
In a charred barren land
You can still be surprised
Wheat suddenly stands
Like a dream of Julys
When the sun sets
In a brilliant sky
The black and the red
Never touch as they die
Don't go away
Dont' go away
Don't leave

Don't go away
I won't cry anymore
I won't talk anymore
I'll crawl under the bed
And I'll watch you from there
As you smile and you dance
And I'll listen to hear
How you talk, when you laugh it's enough
In the shadow of you shadow
In the shadow of your hand
The shadow of your man
Don't go away
Dont' go away
Don't leave

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

that's me in the corner - losing my mind

The thing I wish I could do the most at this moment (besides going to bed) would be to step outside of my body, turn and look me square in the eyes, and slap myself with all the strength I could muster.

Luckily, I know somebody who tells a lot of battery jokes, so I think he can help.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Monday, February 25, 2008

Time is scary.

In 10 weeks I'll be 22.

In 11 weeks I'll finish school.

And in 21 weeks there will be a wedding.

...But, for now, I have 8.5 hours to write this French paper.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Saturday, February 9, 2008

C'était le quatre juin, le soleil tapait depuis le matin
Je m'occupais de la vigne et mon frère chargeait le foin
Et l'heure du déjeuner venue, on est retourné à la maison
Et notre mère a crié de la cuisine "Essuyez vos pieds sur l'paillasson"
Elle dit qu'elle avait des nouvelles de Bourg-les-Essonnes
"Ce matin, Marie-Jeanne Guillaume
s'est jetée du pont de la Garonne"
-
Et mon père dit à ma mère en nous passant le plat de gratin
"La Marie-Jeanne, elle n'était pas très maligne,
passe-moi donc le pain
Y'a bien encore deux hectares à labourer dans le champ d'la canne"
Et Maman dit "Tu vois, quand j'y pense
C'est quand même bête pour cette pauvre Marie-Jeanne
On dirait qu'il n'arrive jamais rien de bon à Bourg-les-Essonnes
Et voilà qu'Marie-Jeanne Guillaume s'est jetée du pont de la Garonne"
-
Mon frère dit qu'il se souvenait quand lui et moi et l'grand Nicolas
On avait mis une grenouille dans l'dos
d'Marie-Jeanne un soir au cinéma
Et il me dit "Tu te rappelles ?
Tu lui parlais ce dimanche près de l'église
Donne-moi encore un peu de vin, c'est bien injuste la vie
Dire que je l'ai vue à la scierie hier, à Bourg-les-Essonnes
Et qu'ajourd'hui, Marie-Jeanne s'est jetée du pont de la Garonne"
-
Maman me dit "Enfin, mon grand, tu n'as pas beaucoup d'appétit
J'ai cuisiné tout ce matin, et tu n'as rien touché, tu n'as rien pris
Dis-moi, la soeur de ce jeune curé est passée en auto
Elle m'a dit qu'elle viendrait dimanche à dîner, oh, et à propos
Elle dit qu'elle a vu un garçon qui t'ressemblait à Bourg-les-Essonnes
Et lui et Marie-Jeanne jetaient quelque chose du pont de la Garonne"
-
Toute une année est passée,
on ne parle plus du tout de Marie-Jeanne
Mon frère qui s'est marié a pris un magasin avec sa femme
La grippe est venue par chez nous
et mon père en est mort en janvier
Depuis Maman n'a plus envie de faire grand chose
Elle est toujours fatiguée
Et moi j'vais de temps en temps
Ramasser quelques fleurs du côté des Essonnes
Et je les jette dans les eaux boueuses du haut du pont de la Garonne