A Letter Inspired by the new Cotton ad

Dear Zooey Deschanel,

WHO THE FUCK RIDES A BICYCLE IN STILETTOS. Get over yourself! I liked you as Trillian, but you're quickly making me regret ever watching any of your movies. It's sad, because I want to see 500 Days of Summer, I really do, but now I'm not so sure I could enjoy a movie with that much of you in it.

And, please, please, please, stop dressing like one of my mother's dolls from the 1950's.

-Me